


Emotional Vulnerbility, Among Other Things

by Primaryexampleofadisaster



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, Post-Episode: Flirting with Social Anxiety, Self-deprecating comments, Tags to be added as needed, Virgil midly panics about how he is supposed to respond to feelings, as an exaggerated comment, caps lock in one spot, cursing, descriptions of ripping skin off, he does that for most of it honestly, um...other stuff I'm sure but can't think of at the moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27131638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Primaryexampleofadisaster/pseuds/Primaryexampleofadisaster
Summary: In which Roman and Virgil have a conversation, made productive solely because of sleep deprivation and Roman's inability to catch anything.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 9
Kudos: 76





	Emotional Vulnerbility, Among Other Things

Virgil was, well, he was  _ trying _ to relax in his room. After the initial excitement had faded, worry had replaced it. Worry over the future, and worry over events from today.

So many things that he had disregarded in the moment haunting him now. If he was being honest, he knew he ought to go talk to Roman. After all, he had said some concerning things today. But being honest meant having to address things Virgil wasn't sure he was ready to address.

So Roman bursting into his room a few hours later solved one issue and added to the other. Virgil was about to kick him out when he realized that Roman looked...lost, and maybe a little scared. But Virgil was not making the first move. It was too late for that.

So Roman started, abruptly breaking the silence with "I don't think we're ready!"

Oh.  _ Oh _ . This. Virgil really should have realized this was coming, seeing as Roman had confirmed they were with an  _ interesting _ tone of voice. The same tone Roman used whenever, Virgil now noticed, he was deflecting or flat-out lying.

" _ I'm _ not ready," Roman continued, seeming to shrink back. Virgil was surprised that Roman was admitting any of this, although the prince did look fairly tired, and by Virgil's experience, sleep deprivation was the source of all courage and choices to regret later. On second thought, Roman looked very tired, as though he hadn't slept in a while so much as he had had a ton of caffeine.

None of that was helping Virgil find a good response though. Luckily, Roman took his stare as an invitation to continue. Which was good, but still rude. Couldn't a guy have a few years to think of a useful response he won't regret?

"It's just, having this makes me really, really happy. But it feels more and more like I will mess it up somehow."

Virgil was...shocked, to say the least. That was  _ way _ more emotional vulnerability than he had  _ ever _ known Roman to show. He supposed the only response was to express as much. "Um, Princey, that was a lot."

"I-I know. It's just that today was a lot. And it felt really nice that you, uh, had my back there. So I thought - I hoped that maybe, I could talk to you about this?" 

Virgil was not equipped to handle this. He did one nice thing and all of a sudden Roman's coming into his room to talk at 2am? Yeah, this was not going to go well.

Virgil supposed that, yes, he and Roman had been closer lately, but not this close. It was too much. What if he made everything a million times worse? What if Roman expected Virgil to open up in return? Again, this was going to be a disaster. Still, he was here, and he had to say something.

Anything.

Now!

"Uh, go ahead Princey."

_ Fuck.  _ Was that the right response? Roman wasn't talking yet. Did he make it seem as though he hated Roman? Had he messed it up? 

No! This was not the time to spiral into those thoughts. Roman had sat down, and looked like he was about to start.

"Uh, okay, um," Roman attempted, twisting his hands together. "Well, it all started when-" Roman cut himself off, muttering under his breath, "no, that was stupid, this is stupid, I should leave -"

"Roman," Virgil interrupted, "maybe we should go somewhere else?" He had a feeling that this was not a discussion for his room. Or any room. Perhaps the Mind Palace would be better. He would prefer not to have this conversation, but it was too late to back down.

Roman nodded his agreement before snapping his fingers and bringing them to the mind palace as it had been. He snapped again, giving them both beanbags. "Ah, emo, your room did a number on me, but I'm glad we could return to one of my greatest creations - not that any of them aren't spectacular," Roman announced, a very obvious facade. He certainly hadn't been over Virgil's room this quick before.

"Er, Roman," Virgil ventured, "what you were saying, before, do you want to keep talking about that?" He cringed inside his head. This conversation was all sorts of awful, even without Roman clearly trying to withdraw from it. Worst of all, it was  _ necessary _ , so Virgil would have to try to keep at it.

"Oh, but of course. Could you remind me of where I was? I seem to have forgotten amidst the excitement." He was deflecting. Of course he was. Leaving Virgil's room let him stop nervously rambling, so now Roman could avoid the topic.  _ Wonderful _ .

Virgil sighed. "It might be easier if you just started over." Which was true. Virgil had probably missed some things in the midst of trying to comprehend the fact that Roman was in his room at 2am having a mental breakdown. 

"Well, I've been thinking that now may not be the best time for a relationship. For me. And I know that's incredibly selfish, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to mess it up."

"And you came to  _ me  _ for that?" Virgil asked incredulously.

Roman looked down. "Well, everyone else is asleep, and I'm not really on the best - or ever okay - terms with any of them." Virgil saw him twisting his hands, so summoned and tossed a pillow at him.

Roman missed the catch. Horribly. So Virgil did what any sane human would do: laugh. "Princey, you throw shit at us  _ all the time _ , and you catch worse than Patton. Oh my god." 

But Roman was not laughing. At all. In fact, he looked even more upset. "S-sorry," he said, looking as though he wanted to withdraw into a conveniently misplaced hole. 

_ Wait, what? _ Roman just  _ apologized _ . For not catching something. At 2am. Well, more like 2:45 now. Which was worse. Nope. Virgil was not a fan of this conversation, he did not know how to deal with this. He did not sign up to deal with this. And he still had yet to respond. So Roman continued, "I'll get it."

He bent over to grab the pillow. "Roman," said Virgil. Roman looked up, "I threw the pillow at you because I thought you might want to hold something. You were twisting your hands so much it looked like you were going to rip your skin off." Then, an idea struck. "But now, it seems we have a more important goal: teaching Roman how to catch something." He held his arms up for the pillow. 

Roman tossed it over, and Virgil caught it. Easily. "That's how it's done Princey."

Roman looked significantly happier now. "Ah the last time was but a fluke. Let me try again." 

Virgil tossed it underhand, right at Roman's outstretched arms. An easy catch. Roman still managed to miss. "Dude. It was right at your hands. How did you miss that?"

"It's just late, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance," Roman shot back, and chucked the pillow at his head. Virgil caught it.

"Not late enough to let me sleep though," he replied, "Try keeping your eyes on the object." Virgil threw it overhand this time, smirking as Roman picked it up off the floor.

"I am. And you weren't asleep." A softer throw this time.

"I could have been. Anyway, what was so important that you had to talk to me? I severely doubt it was just about today. Don't focus so much on catching it. Let it be unconscious." Virgil tossed the pillow back. Another miss.

"I don't know," Roman said as he scooped up the pillow, "a lot of things I guess. Today just made it too much I suppose. It felt like if I kept it to myself any longer, I would explode. What do you mean, don't focus on it? What should I focus on?"

This time Virgil nearly fumbled, but managed to keep a hold of the pillow. "Focus on the pillow. Not on catching it. What kind of things?"

Roman missed again, but it was closer this time. "Well," Roman began, fiddling with tassels that suddenly appeared on the pillow, "it sort of feels like everything I do is headed towards some inevitable failure. I can't even catch a pillow right."

His throw didn't reach Virgil this time. "Well, you make nine of ten throws, that has to count for something. And you aren't doomed to fail Princey. It was through you that we got here today."

Roman scoffed. "You did all the work, just like all the work is in catching."

"That isn't true Roman. You pushed us to talk to Nico initially, and it went really well. And I'm not just talking about Nico. Thomas has a job he loves and is generally fulfilled, all thanks to you. Besides, it's hard to catch the results of an awful throw." This time, Virgil threw the pillow well to Roman's left.

Roman scowled as he stood up to grab it. "Thanks Virgil. But that's not really true. Thomas threw away his education for this, as Logan is all too fond of reminding me. And he still regrets it. He probably wouldn't go back, but he still, in some ways, feels that he made a mistake. That I made a mistake." Roman just rolled the pillow over the Virgil.

_ Fuck. _ They were back in this territory. The land of "Prove Things to Roman Without Making Him Feel Bad." And Virgil was failing at the second part. It was 3am. He didn't have the brain power to provide emotional support for so many issues at once.

"Uh, Roman, if it means anything, I don't think you made a mistake. It worked out pretty well."

Roman didn't respond. "Princey, you good?" Virgil asked.

"Oh! Uh, yeah Virgil. But you're wrong. It worked out because of luck. Today worked because of you. Going to the wedding worked out because apparently Janus needed to be accepted. But the truth is, me pushing for those things was a mistake, which everything I do seems to be. Maybe I'm just the mistake. Maybe I keep messing up because I don't deserve those good things to begin with."

Virgil froze. That was...a lot. That was too much actually. Way too much. He was NOT EQUIPPED TO HANDLE THIS. Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Virgil could not deal with this. How was he even supposed to respond to something like that. He had barely made it this far, now that was being dumped on him.

_ Wait.  _ This was not the time. He had to respond somehow. Luckily, Roman seemed sucked into his own mind as well.

"Hey Roman, are you there?" Virgil ventured. Roman shook himself out of his thoughts and nodded. "You're not a mistake. You pushing Thomas towards his dreams is only a good thing, even when it doesn't work out. Needing help on that isn't always a bad thing either."

Roman just kept his eyes glued on the floor. 

"I mean it Roman," Virgil continued. "I think you're ready for this. I know you deserve it. You work really hard for Thomas. For all of us. And, I'm happy to...help out, if you need."

A small smile twitched on Roman's face as he said, "Thanks Virgil. That helps, I suppose." He looked around. "You know, I still can't catch that pillow."

Virgil smiled, grateful for the change in conversation. He could worry about all of this later. "Okay, Princey," he began. At this point, it wasn't really worth trying to go back to sleep, but if he could get Roman to catch the pillow in two hours, he could still get at least four hours of sleep.

Everything was not okay, not by a longshot. But, Virgil hoped, maybe it would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading! This was longer than I usually write, but I love platonic Virgil and Roman, what can I say?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know in case I missed any tags.


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